Some Common Guidelines

The only requirement for membership in S.L.A.A. is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addition. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of S.L.A.A. provide tools and a framework for recovery. In support of that recovery we have found certain guidelines useful.

Meeting Guidelines:

  • At S.L.A.A. meetings, we share our “experience, strength and hope” of recovery from sex and love addiction.
  • For our group unity, we seek to provide an environment free from shame, judgment, criticism, manipulation, and abuse, where members can feel safe to share what they think and feel. We ask members to help maintain that supportive environment.
  • We maintain confidentiality, and refrain from disclosing names or identifying group members outside the meeting. We understand anonymity to be critical to the foundation of our recovery.
  • We refrain from interruption or interaction while another is sharing. Some groups have procedures for respectfully maintaining order and focus.
  • Cross-talk is discouraged at our meetings. Cross-talk is sometimes defined as giving advice, making direct reference to what someone else has shared, or otherwise drawing attention to another member’s story.
  • To help to keep our meetings healthy and safe for everyone, We also ask that you respect others in the fellowship and dress appropriately for these meetings.

Newcomer Guidelines:

  • Focus on your own experiences and feelings. Remember to use “I” rather than “we” or “you” when you share.
  • Participate only as you wish. It is also OK not to share.
  • Listen to others; accept silence. Healing can happen when we listen as well as when we share.
  • If you wish to, identify yourself by first name before you speak. Many of us say, “My name is ______ , and I’m a sex and love addict.” Generally, you are not required to identify yourself in this manner; you may identify yourself in any way that feels safe and comfortable to you.
  • Feel free to take a break from the meeting if you are feeling uncomfortable for any reason. You can also talk to someone about your feelings after the meeting.

Excerpted from © 1997 S.L.A.A.-FWS, Welcome pamphlet

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